HOME | ABOUT | RESUME | ESSENTIAL BOOKS | CONTACT ME


You know you play too much Halo when…

May 17th, 2008

halo

Written by Charles Yarbrough

10. You crouch when turning corners.

9. You look at the back of your vehicle to see if anyone is jumping on it.

8. During sex you chant like the Halo monks.

7. You call to tell your friends you not going to be able to play tonight.

6. You call your girlfriend to let her know you will be playing when she gets home.

5. You have a shirt with a halo dude tea bagging another.

4. You get drunk while playing Halo.

3. You ask others on Xbox live advise on your personal problems.

2. You have the Halo theme and Breaking Benjamin’s Halo song on your wake up CD

1. You consider naming your first born Master Chief

Hidden life lessons of GTA 4

May 17th, 2008

gta4

Buried deep within GTA IV’s high-speed police chases, vehicular homicides, cold-blooded killings and large-scale armed robberies, there lie hidden gems of wisdom that you can apply to improve your own life in the real world.

1) If you wanna make an omelet, you gotta break some eggs. GTA IV teaches you that when you want to accomplish something, you should go for it without worrying too much about stepping on other people’s toes. When you carjack an old lady and only have 30 seconds to make it from the gun store to the respray shop, some people are gonna get run over in the process. If you want your boss’s job, you might have to get him fired before you get the position. When you get what you want, people may get hurt. It comes with the territory.

2) Trust no one. Everyone you meet has an agenda. Let me repeat that. Everyone you meet has an agenda. Of course, some may have a more malicious agenda than others. Regardless, everyone around you is almost always looking out for #1: themselves. Look at Ghandi — that guy was practically begging to get 15 minutes of fame with some sort of “MTV True Life: I’m a Revolutionary Peacemaker” documentary. Think about it. GTA IV lets you experience “friends” lying, cheating, stealing and stabbing you in the back to get what they want. Only trust yourself.

3) Plan for the best, but prepare for the worst. Pretend you’re in GTA, you just got assigned a new mission, and you envision yourself kicking ass: running, ducking, diving, all while taking out gangbangers with expertly timed shotgun blasts and never getting a scratch on you. So do you walk in to the gun fight with one-third of your health, no body armor and low ammo? Hell no. You stock up. You prepare for the worst. Shit, buy some rocket launchers while you’re at it. Why not. In life, you never know what could go wrong. It always pays to be prepared.

4) The more nice shit you have, the more people respect you. We live in a shallow society folks, and GTA IV understands this by letting your character get all types of shit that doesn’t have anything to do with the actual game. You can buy nice suits & expensive shoes, move into penthouse bachelor pads, and of course, drive baller whips. If you pick up a chick on a date (yes, the game lets you do this), she’ll verbally tell you how impressed she is when you pull up in a luxury car similar to the one 2Pac got shot in. Art is modeled after real life guys. People notice these things. Respect yourself by getting some nice digs.

5) Get revenge when it counts. Don’t let people walk all over you. Donald Trump has touted this for years, and its actually good advice. If people know they can screw you and you won’t do anything about it, prepare for it to happen with greater and greater frequency. If someone wrongs you, get them back, and make absolute sure everyone sees it so they know you’re not one to be messed with. In GTA IV when someone disrespects your crew, you don’t sneak around and poison their morning tea — you roll up right on the basketball court and blow his brains out in front of all of his homies plus a few random bystanders. See how everyone else runs away? This is called leading by example.

6) If you want something, you have to work for it. America is the land of opportunity, not the land of uh-here-take-this. Don’t expect things to be given to you on a silver platter, or for the world to be fair. Sometimes when you want something, you have to be prepared to take it. When Niko arrives in Liberty City, he has nothing. By the middle of the game he’s got a highrise apartment and a pile of money, not to mention tons of guns and bitches. Get out there and fight.

7) Go off the beaten path. Don’t blindly follow the guidelines that society lays out for you. If you followed every traffic law in GTA IV you would get so bored playing that you’d eventually turn off the game, which in real life would be the equivalent of killing yourself. Make life interesting. Think outside the box. There’s no one right way to do something. Steve Jobs took the mobile phone market and turned it upside down with the iPhone, a device no one had ever seen before. In one GTA IV mission, Niko dresses up as a gay guy to take another gay man out on a date for the sole purpose of killing him. This type of unorthodox thinking is what you need to succeed in the work place as well as in life. Make it happen.

The World’s Hardest Game

April 29th, 2008

the hardest game

The ultimate retro arcade

March 30th, 2008

Retro arcade

retro arcade

Bungee Bails

October 7th, 2007

 halo

Bungee Soft a company bought by XBox (Microsoft) many moons ago realized this week that they officially don’t want to be Microsoft’s little bitch anymore. Maybe because they only got 20% of the almost 200 million Halo will rake in. Whatever the case like rock stars that get molested by music companies that now get molested by down loaders, it just proves that a bird in hand is worth two in the bush.

Any time you lose talented developers who are working exclusively for you, that’s a negative,” UBS Securities analyst Ben Schachter said. “The developers within the company wanted some more freedom and wanted to have their fortunes tied to something other than Microsoft.”

Analysts said the more than 100 people from Bungie Studios, which Microsoft acquired in 2000 for an estimated $20 million to $40 million, were leaving because they wanted more creative freedom and the potentially far larger financial rewards of striking out on their own.

The announcement comes on the heels of the blockbuster release of “Halo 3,” which Microsoft said racked up a record $300 million in first-week sales. The series has played a key role in establishing Xbox as a contender in the home gaming market despite Microsoft’s late entrance with the Xbox in 2000.

Analysts said as many as 1 in 4 Xbox buyers chose the console so they could play “Halo,” a first-person shooter game in which Master Chief tries to save the world from destruction by aliens.

Yet because Microsoft is so large and has other, more profitable divisions, the success of “Halo” hasn’t necessarily translated into more valuable stock options for its creators.

Analysts said the separation wasn’t a dramatic setback for Microsoft because it would keep an equity stake in Bungie, and Bungie would continue to make Xbox games. Financial terms were not disclosed.

Analysts said they believed Microsoft would get the right to bid on new titles before rivals Sony Corp. and Nintendo Co.

“The intent of both parties is to continue to work together, hopefully forever,” said Microsoft Vice President Shane Kim, who heads its game studios.

Though “Halo 3? is the last in a trilogy, Kim said Microsoft would work with Bungie and “Lord of the Rings” director Peter Jackson on a game that “takes place in the ‘Halo’ universe.”

Bungie studio head Harold Ryan said his team had no immediate plans to create games for Microsoft rivals, adding that the move was as much about attaining an emotional sense of independence as anything else.

Bungie is one of several Microsoft studios that make games, and though it had unusual independence, it isn’t the largest. About a thousand people work at several other wholly owned studios or at the parent operation, Microsoft Game Studios. Microsoft also has exclusive deals with outside studios. Its shares rose 13 cents to $29.84.

In part because Microsoft shares have moved little in the last five years, the company has lost some desirable staffers to faster-moving companies including Google Inc. and some Silicon Valley start-ups.

Microsoft’s gaming division has lost more than $6 billion to date. The company has told investors the division would begin earning money in the current fiscal year. That has stepped up pressure on the game developers, whose products are profitable, to make up for problems with the Xbox hardware. As independents, the Bungie developers would have no such worry.

Microsoft’s Kim said its relations with Bungie’s employees would improve now that the staffers have the structure they want. Analysts gave Microsoft credit for negotiating a friendly arrangement.

“Obviously, Microsoft owns ‘Halo,’ but they don’t own those people,” Wedbush Morgan Securities analyst Michael Pachter said.

Halo 3

September 24th, 2007

halo 3

So Halo 3 is coming, life has finally cycled back to it’s Zenful ways. The 6 months before a new Halo release comes out is like a slingshot being stretched more and more until xbox is stretching it so much that when they let go you could head shot Tartarus across Ascension with it. O.K. maybe a little dramatic. Anyways here is the release information for Orange County. And yes you know it would be cool to have a sling shot in Halo 3.

One of the biggest video games ever is back The much-anticipated Halo 3 for the Xbox 360 goes on sale Monday night.

And the Best Buy store in Fullerton is one of only a handful of Best Buy stores that plan to open at midnight to sell the game to the most dedicated fans. Other OC midnight openings include GameStop and the Newport Beach Circuit City (see end of post).

Best Buy won’t say how many games each store is stocking. But a spokeswoman tells me, “We we will definitely be ready for the buying frenzy (both on Monday night and beyond)! As always, we try to maintain enough stock to make sure that anyone who wants to buy the game at anytime can do so.”

Will Halo 3 top Halo 2’s first-day sales record of $125 million?

Here’s the deal for Best Buy. Line up whenever you want, but pre-launch madness starts at 10:30 p.m. Best Buy is giving away lots of stuff, such as t-shirts, hats, glow balls and bam-bam sticks. The first 25 people in line get an “exclusive Halo blow-up game chair with built-in speakers.”

The Fullerton store is providing photo ops with Halo’s Master Chief.

Best Buy will have four versions of the game available: Halo 3, Halo 3 Limited Edition (left), and Halo 3 Legendary Edition and the special edition Halo 3 Xbox 360, which I first spotted at E3 earlier this year.

All are available as pre-orders on Amazon for $59.99, $69.99 and $129.99 and $399.99.

And kids, if you’re under 17, bring someone older with you because Best Buy says it’s sticking to its policy to only sell games rated M for mature.

halo 3 car