WASHINGTON — With both presidential candidates returning to the Capitol to lend support, the Senate voted reluctantly but solidly in favor of a modified $700-billion Wall Street rescue plan tonight. But it remained uncertain whether the legislation, even with a carefully designed package of tax breaks, would be able to withstand the fierce crosswinds of liberal and conservative resistance in the House later this week.

The Senate voted 74-25 to approve the measure, whose centerpiece is giving the government the authority to buy up billions of dollars of the toxic assets that have poisoned financial markets and threaten to contaminate the rest of the economy.

#6.
Belle Gunness Torches Her Way to Riches

The key to life is to turn your failures into successes. Just ask Bell Gunness, who managed to succeed despite a series of devastating fires. Granted, she started the fires, but we like to think the point still stands.

Belle Gunness emigrated from Norway to the USA in 1881. She quickly married and set up a candy store that failed to make any money. One year later it burned to the ground but, fortunately, it was insured. She used the money to buy a house in Austin. In 1898, it burned to the ground. Thankfully, it also was insured. In 1900, her husband, Max Sorenson, burned to the grou- oh, no, he died. He had, though, just taken out two insurance policies.

Belle used the money to buy a farm in La Porte, Indiana. Soon after moving in, the boat and carriage house burned to the ground. You see a pattern emerging here?

In 1902, Belle’s second husband, Peter Gunness died (when a large sausage grinding machine “accidentally” fell on him). Belle, who had the world’s most trusting insurance company, got paid on her claim for $3,000.

Needing a good man to accompany her through all of life’s troubles and mysterious fires, Belle sent advertisements to Norwegian language papers asking for a mate. Over the next two years a number of suitors turned up at Belle’s farm, took out life insurance policies, and promptly disappeared.

Finally on April 28, 1908, in the aftermath of yet another fire at the Gunness farm, police found four bodies in the basement; one adult and three children. The adult was thought to be Belle, but was hard to identify because the head was missing.

Authorities, finding this whole scene slightly suspicious, began digging up Belle’s back yard. They found the remains of 12 bodies and numerous body parts. They never found Belle’s head, despite the best efforts of her insurance company’s agents who probably just wanted to give it a check.

How Much Did She Make?

It is estimated Belle made $30,000 from the various husbands who got sucked in by the newspaper ad, and maybe as much as $250,000 overall. It sounds impressive, but considering the sheer number of bodies she left in her path, we think it works out to like, six dollars per victim.
#5.
Burke and Hare Sell Their Bodies (Well, Not Theirs)

William Burke and William Hare set out to make their money in the same fashion as any young up and coming entrepreneur living in 19th century Britain: by stealing dead bodies for dissection.

A pretty gruesome way to make a living, sure. But such was the demand for corpses (for medical students to practice on) that it was a pretty popular crime and one generally overlooked by the authorities, since the victims were already dead and all. Burke and Hare made their first buck from the trade when a tenant in Hare’s lodging house died. They took the body and sold it to Edinburgh Medical College for seven pounds.

It didn’t take long before the pair started thinking about how they could make their operation more productive. The two thought outside of the box. You know, the box people were buried in. That’s right, these savvy young lads cut out the middle man and just started killing people on their own.

“I gotta tell you, this is so much easier than digging up graves.

Over 18 months, Burke and Hare, along with their wives, killed 16 people. First they killed their tenants, then, when their supply ran out, they started luring people to the apartment.

Unfortunately for the pair, one of Hare’s tenants became suspicious after finding a dead body under a bed and alerted the police. Hare was given immunity from prosecution in exchange for testimony against Burke. As a result Burke was hanged in 1829, his body given to medical students to dissect according the British rules of ironic punishment.

How Much Did They Make?

At the rate these guys were going, it seems like they’d have had to slaughter a whole city to make a decent living. Burke kept a diary about the murders and wrote in one entry: “July 1. Sold the Englishman for L10. Kept the whole money, for Hare’s conduct to me.”

So these jackasses killed 16 people that we know about, yet still haggled over a few bucks here and there. It almost seems like they could have, you know, just gotten jobs instead.
#4.
Marcus Licinius Crassus: Fire Fighter for Profit

Marcus Licinius Crassus was a Roman general and politician who commanded his legions around 70 BC. He’s credited with creating the first fire brigade, though he probably wasn’t thought of as highly of as FDNY since his primary motivation for putting out fires was to extort money from the property owners.

It all began when Crassus noticed the tendency of buildings in Rome to burn down, due to being built too high and close together and with large wooden support beams. To capitalize on this, he bought 500 slaves and put together a fire brigade. Then, he’d show up at the scene of the fire and make the owner a deal. It went something like this:

“Sell me your building, or I’ll let it burn down along with everything you own. I’ll give you 30 Talents.”

“Ah come on Crassus, I bought it for 72 Talents. And I added that deck!”

“20 Talents for the house pal.”

“I’ll take 80. 80 Talents.” (Noise of building collapsing in on itself)

“10 Talents bud. Time’s running out. You take it or you get nothing.”

“Yeah, I smell the fire, but I’m not even turning around until you show me some money. Tick tock.”

It was kind of like how a fire department would work under the Libertarians. Not only would Crassus buy the house that was burning down, he’d buy the neighbouring houses that were at risk of catching fire. He’d then set the slaves to work putting out the blaze and rebuild any damaged houses, to be sold later at an enormous profit.

How Much Did He Make?

Crassus eventually amassed a fortune almost equal to that of the annual income of the Roman Treasury. He accumulated over 7,100 talents, or 200 million Sestertii. We have no idea what either of those things are but we do know he’s listed as one of the 10 richest men in history.

Later Crassus went off to war in Parthia (modern day Iran). His soldiers demanded he parley with the Parthians who had offered to meet him. At the meeting Crassus was seized, tortured and had molten silver poured down his throat to sate his thirst for wealth.

And that, Mr. Obama, is why you don’t negotiate with Iran.

#3.
The People of Vernon, Florida Mutilate Themselves for Profit

Why did more than two-thirds of all loss-of-limb accident claims in the United States in the late ’50s and early ’60s come from the Florida Panhandle? Well, in the words of John J. Healy, insurance investigator, “Vernon’s second-largest occupation was watching hound dogs mating in the town square, its largest was self-mutilation for monetary gain.”

Yep, the good townsfolk of Vernon were deliberately maiming themselves in order to claim insurance policies they’d taken out on their limbs. Nearly 50 people in Vernon (population 780) had some kind of horrific “accident”.

L.W. Burdeshaw, an insurance agent, told the St. Petersburg Times in 1982 that his list of policyholders included a man who sawed off his left hand at work, a man who shot off his foot while protecting chickens, a man who lost his hand while supposedly trying to shoot a hawk, a man who somehow lost two limbs in an accident involving a rifle and a tractor, and a man who bought a policy and then, less than 12 hours later, shot off his foot while aiming at a squirrel.

Insurance agents, probably disillusioned by the whole Belle Gunness affair, were a little suspicious. Cutting your hand at work may be possible. Sawing off your entire hand at work really takes some amount of sustained effort. But that the kind of can-do attitude that marks the people of Vernon (besides a disturbing lack of symmetry).

These people either had enormous balls, or they really, really needed the fucking money.

How Much Did They Make?

No one in the town was ever convicted of fraud, and it’s not easy to find out just how much they got away with. What we know is that one farmer took out policies with 38 different companies before, in some no doubt comical accident, he lost his left foot.

Luckily, the particular day of the “accident” he happened to be driving his wife’s automatic, since if he’d been driving his own stick shift he would have needed the left foot to use the clutch. He also happened to have a tourniquet in his pocket (in case of snake bites, he insisted). He could be telling the truth, right?

For snakes?

Well, it turned out he’d taken out so much insurance that he was paying premiums that cost more than his total income. He collected more than $1 million from all the companies.

The insurance companies fought it but conceded, “it was hard to make a jury believe a man would shoot off his own foot.” Proof once again that there is good money to be made by being just a little crazier than the world thinks possible.
#2.
H.H. Holmes

You know what makes a bad combination? Medical degrees and murderous insanity.

And so we have H.H. Holmes, who graduated in medicine from the University of Michigan in 1884. He was a likable man, handsome, friendly and charming. In the late 1880s, to seek his fortune, he moved to Chicago and took a job in a pharmacy. A nice man all around, you might think. But only if you were retarded and completely skipped the rest of this article.

By 1888 Holmes had murdered his boss and stolen her drugstore (telling friends she was “in California”). The key to a good business, though, is expansion, so he bought up a vacant lot on the other side of the street and built a large hotel.

Well, it wasn’t really a “hotel,” except in the sense the Hotel California was a hotel. You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave. Except you can’t check out. Because you’re dead. Or slowly suffocating in an airtight vault, or being stretched on a rack in the basement that Holmes used to see how far the human body could stretch (Answer: not that far).

In retrospect, it’s nothing like Hotel California.

And that’s just the basement. The building was designed to Holmes’ specific instructions to create a labyrinth with secret chambers, trap doors, sliding walls, hidden laboratories and torture rooms. We’d think the contractors would have asked a few questions, but some people don’t like to pry.

But Holmes didn’t design all that just for fun. Like everyone on this list, he was a businessman. Once a guest at the hotel had been killed, Holmes would take them to the basement, strip them of their flesh, craft them into skeleton models and then sell them to medical schools.

“Shoulda gone to Motel 6, but no, I wanted to save a few bucks.Stupid.

Holmes left his hotel after 1893 due to a lack of guests, possibly because the Chicago World’s Fair had ended, possibly because he’d killed everyone in Chicago. He then moved to Philadelphia and promptly murdered his business partner, to collect on a $10,000 insurance policy.

Actually, “Murdered,” isn’t really descriptive enough. We’ll let Holmes himself tell you about it:

“I proceeded to burn him alive by saturating his clothing and his face with benzene and igniting it with a match. So horrible was this torture that in writing of it I have been tempted to attribute his death to some humane means-not with a wish to spare myself, but because I fear that it will not be believed that one could be so heartless and depraved.”

Holmes then went on the run, taking with him, for some reason, Pitezel’s three children. Guess what happened to them?

Holmes was arrested for the murder of Pitezel and his three children, and hanged. The only official number of victims is 27, though it’s thought the real number is a lot higher, probably around the death toll of a Michael Bay film.

How Much Did He Make?

The reason it’s so hard to pin down the number of Holmes’ victims is because he was a pathological liar, on top of everything else. So who knows how much cash he collected from his carnival of horrors. What we do know is that he kept turning a profit right up until the end, when he sold his confession to the Philadelphia Inquirer for $10,000.
#1.
Dr Marcel Petiot, The Anti-Schindler

It’s January 1942, Nazi occupied France. There is a small time con man named Dr. Marcel Petiot, who moved to Paris and set up a medical practice, claiming to have been an intern at a mental hospital. That was pretty close to the truth. He had been a patient there.

Thanks to his well-rounded experience of having seen a mental health facility from both sides of a straight jacket, Petiot spent his time selling addictive narcotics and conducting the occasional illegal abortion. When World War 2 and the Holocaust came along, Petiot saw his opportunity to make some extra cash on the side.

The Nazis were on the hunt for Jews to send off to concentration camps. Petiot put out word that he’d help fugitive Jews escape from the country, for a fee of 25,000 Francs per person. We know what you’re thinking. Sure, the guy charged an arm and a leg. But in the end, he was doing good, right? He was lining his pockets, but saving lives at the same time!

Where did he get all those suitcases?

You might want to stop reading now, so you can keep believing that.

When customers came to Petiot, he told them that in order to enter Argentina (their alleged destination) they had to be inoculated. He would stick them with a needle and…

On March 6, 1944, the police arrived at Petiot’s burning three story house. Once inside, they found a large heap of quicklime mixed with human remains. There was a pit dug in the stable, full of quicklime and corpses in various stages of decomposition. They found basement sinks large enough for draining corpses and a soundproof octagonal chamber with wall-mounted shackles and a peephole in its door. On the staircase leading to the basement, police found a sack containing a headless corpse, missing its organs.

Petiot was later arrested and during the trial, maintained that the whole thing was a big, wacky misunderstanding. They didn’t buy it, and Petiot was beheaded.

How Much Did He Make?

Petiot not only would collect on his huge fee, but would take all of the victim’s possessions (they were fugitives, so would come to him with all of their life savings on them). Authorities say Petiot’s haul ran up to–holy shit–200 million Francs.

The lesson? Crime doesn’t pay, but apparently unfathomably dark, monstrous evil pays quite well.

If you’re ready for something totally different from that, to restore your faith in mankind, check out Third Reich to Fortune 500: Five Popular Brands the Nazis Gave Us.

1. “You may think I’m rich, but I don’t.”
A million dollars may sound like a fortune to most people, and folks with that much cash can’t complain — they’re richer than 90 percent of U.S. households and earn $366,000 a year, on average, putting them in the top 1 percent of taxpayers. But the club isn’t so exclusive anymore. Some 10 million households have a net worth above $1 million, excluding home equity, almost double the number in 2002. Moreover, a recent survey by Fidelity found just 8 percent of millionaires think they’re “very” or “extremely” wealthy, while 19 percent don’t feel rich at all. “They’re worried about health care, retirement and how they’ll sustain their lifestyle,” says Gail Graham, a wealth-management executive at Fidelity.

Indeed, many millionaires still don’t have enough for exclusive luxuries, like membership at an elite golf club, which can top $300,000 a year. While $1 million was a tidy sum three decades ago, you’d need $3.6 million for the same purchasing power today. And half of all millionaires have a net worth of $2.5 million or less, according to research firm TNS. So what does it take to feel truly rich? The magic number is $23 million, according to Fidelity.

2. “I shop at Wal-Mart…”
They may not buy the 99-cent paper towels, but millionaires know what it is to be frugal. About 80 percent say they spend with a middle-class mind-set, according to a 2007 survey of high-net-worth individuals, published by American Express and the Harrison Group. That means buying luxury items on sale, hunting for bargains — even clipping coupons.

3. “…but I didn’t get rich by skimping on lattes.”
So how do you join the millionaires’ club? You could buy stocks or real estate, play the slots in Vegas — or take the most common path: running your own business. That’s how half of all millionaires made their money, according to the AmEx/Harrison survey. About a third had a professional practice or worked in the corporate world; only 3 percent inherited their wealth.

Regardless of how they built their nest egg, virtually all millionaires “make judicious use of debt,” says Russ Alan Prince, coauthor of “The Middle-Class Millionaire.” They’ll take out loans to build their business, avoid high-interest credit card debt and leverage their home equity to finance purchases if their cash flow doesn’t cut it. Nor is their wealth tied up in their homes. Home equity represents just 11 percent of millionaires’ total assets, according to TNS. “People who are serious about building wealth always want to have a mortgage,” says Jim Bell, president of Bell Investment Advisors. His home is probably worth $1.5 million, he adds, but he owes $900,000 on it. “I’m in no hurry to pay it off,” he says. “It’s one of the few tax deductions I get.”

4. “I have a concierge for everything.”
That hot restaurant may be booked for months — at least when Joe Nobody calls to make reservations. But many top eateries set aside tables for celebrities and A-list clientele, and that’s where the personal concierge comes in. Working for retainers that range anywhere from $25 an hour to six figures a year, these modern-day butlers have the inside track on chic restaurants, spa reservations, even an early tee time at the golf club. And good concierges will scour the planet for whatever their clients want — whether it’s holy water blessed personally by the Pope, rare Mexican tequila or artisanal sausages found only in northern Spain. “For some people, the cost doesn’t matter,” says Yamileth Delgado, who runs Marquise Concierge and who once found those sausages for a client — 40 pounds of chorizo that went for $1,000.

Concierge services now extend to medical attention as well. At the high end: For roughly $2,000 to $4,000 a month, clients can get 24-hour access to a primary-care physician who makes house calls and can facilitate admission to a hospital “without long waits in the emergency room,” as one New York City service puts it.

5. “You don’t get rich by being nice.”
John D. Rockefeller threatened rivals with bankruptcy if they didn’t sell out to his company, Standard Oil. Bill Gates was ruthless in building Microsoft into the world’s largest software firm (remember Netscape?). Indeed, many millionaires privately admit they’re “bastards in business,” says Prince. “They aren’t nice guys.” Of course, the wealthy don’t exactly look in the mirror and see Gordon Gekko either. Most millionaires share the values of their moderate-income parents, says Lewis Schiff, a private wealth consultant and Prince’s coauthor: “Spending time with family really matters to them.” Just 12 percent say that what they want most to be remembered for is their legacy in business, according to the AmEx/Harrison study.

Millionaires are also seemingly undaunted by failure. Crane, for example, now runs a successful company that screens tenants for landlords. But his first business venture, a real estate partnership, went bankrupt, costing him $20,000 — more than his house was worth at the time. “It was the most depressing time in my life, but it was the best lesson I ever learned,” he says.

As the government and Federal Reserve campaign to head off a recession, many families are working hard to save money and reduce debt. Credit-card debts and other loans hang over us like a sword. By saving modest amounts, however, you can reap big rewards over time. And that doesn’t require clipping coupons and washing out used coffee filters. Here are easy ways you can save $100 or more this year:

1. Plug into bargain electricity.
Mickey Greenblatt was spending nearly $250 a month on electricity for his home in Potomac, Md. When the retired executive called his utility company to find out why his bills were so high, the company offered to do a free home-energy audit. Greenblatt learned that simple things such as running his dishwasher at night rather than during the day could cut his bill by 40 percent. Taking advantage of such options as off-peak rates can save most consumers $100 a year.

Savings are also possible under “load management” programs. You get discounts for allowing your utility company to put a device on your water heater and air conditioner that switches them off briefly during periods of high demand.

2. Hit the brakes on automobile-insurance rates.
You can save substantially by increasing the deductibles on the comprehensive and collision portions of your policy. According to the Insurance Information Institute, raising collision deductibles from $200 to $500 could reduce your collision and comprehensive coverage by 15-30 percent. Squeeze out additional savings by asking about every possible discount, such as for carpooling, air bags, annual mileage below 10,000 miles — even for teenage drivers with grade averages above a B.

3. Challenge your property tax.
Ruth Rejnis, author of Squeeze Your Home for Cash, recommends going to your local assessor’s office and finding out what property taxes your neighbors are paying. If your house is similar but your taxes are higher, you may want to challenge your bill. Also, read the description of your home. Errors in square footage or the number of bathrooms could mean an overcharge. The assessor’s office or local board of tax review can tell you how to file an appeal.

4. Shop for a bargain bank.
Look for free checking and no ATM fees. Also, if you have direct deposit of your paycheck, your bank might waive its monthly fee.

5. Remedy pricey prescriptions.
Cut your bills in half by buying generic drugs instead of name brands. Also, buy your prescriptions via mail order through a drugstore chain or your company health plan.

6. Pay off your plastic.
If you carry a credit-card balance from month to month, pay it back pronto. A $1000 balance at 18 percent blows nearly $200 a year in interest. If you can’t pay it off in full, transfer your debt to a lower-rate card.

7. Say no to car extras.
Your car dealer may sell rustproofing and fabric protection at $100 a pop, and paint protection for as much as $250. “Usually these extras are the dealer’s way to squeeze more money out of you,” says Bob Elliston, author of What Car Dealers Won’t Tell You. Do-it-yourself fabric protector costs about $10 a bottle. Paint protection is unnecessary, since most cars have many layers of paint. And skip rustproofing: cars come already treated so that they won’t need it.

8. Take a longer waiting period for disability insurance.
If you can’t work, disability insurance pays your living expenses. Many employers offer this. But if you must buy your own, accept the longest waiting period before benefits kick in — as long as you can cover those expenses, suggests Shelly Branch, author of Dollar Pinching: A Consumer’s Guide to Smart Spending. A healthy male carpenter earning $40,000 annually could pay up to $1800 a year for a policy with a 30-day wait. With a 90-day wait it could cost $800 to $1100.

9. Cancel mortgage insurance.
When you buy a house with less than 20 percent down, your lender may insist you buy private mortgage insurance (PMI) to protect against default. The average cost of this insurance is $45 a month, or $540 a year. However, once you have 20-percent equity (either because you’ve paid down your mortgage or because area property values have risen), you may be allowed to cancel the PMI.

10. Explore DRIPs.
If you buy stock, you can save on brokerage commissions by enrolling in a dividend reinvestment plan (DRIP). Offered by more than 900 companies, DRIPs allow shareholders to buy stock directly. You may have to be a shareholder of record, however, so find out if you’ll need to use a broker to buy your first few shares. Then enroll in the DRIP.

11. Buy straight from the Treasury.
Another way to bypass brokers and save money on fees is to buy Treasury notes, bills or bonds directly. The minimum investment is $1000 for bonds and for notes with maturities between five and ten years, $5000 for notes with shorter maturities and $10,000 for bills. Ask the nearest branch of the Federal Reserve Bank for an application for a Treasury Direct account.

12. Clean out your closet.
When you deduct charitable donations of clothing at tax time, do you just guess $100? William Lewis, author of Cash for Your Used Clothing, says most people underestimate the worth of such items.

Before you donate, price each item against similar ones sold at the store where you drop them off. If you’re in a 28-percent tax bracket, a donation worth $400 will earn you a tax deduction of at least $112.

13. Skip the service contract.
Extended warranties on electronics are rarely a good deal. According to Tom Garman, a Virginia Tech professor of consumer affairs, most product breakdowns occur in the first year and are covered by the manufacturer’s warranty.

14. Flex your company’s flexible spending account.
These accounts allow you to set aside part of your pretax salary for dependent-care costs and unreimbursed medical expenses. You decide at the beginning of the year how much money you want to set aside in the account. The downside is that if you don’t use all the money, you lose it. However, if you’re in the 28-percent tax bracket and allocate $500 to cover your health-insurance deductible, you’ll cut taxes by $140.

15. Buy in bulk.
Items you may use a lot, such as paper towels and diapers, are often far cheaper when you buy in quantity. For example, Alan and Denise Fields, co-authors of Baby Bargains, say new parents buy an average of 2400 disposable diapers in their baby’s first year alone. Diapers that cost 20 cents apiece in the packages sold at grocery shops and drugstores might go for 15 cents when bought in bulk at a discount store or warehouse club. Just a nickel a diaper could add up to an annual savings of $120.

16. Rethink your vacations.
“Homestay” programs offer free lodging all over the world to travelers who are themselves willing to host other members in their homes. Some groups charge an annual membership fee, but your savings can easily be worth more than a hundred dollars a day.