Patience

pa·tience

noun \?p?-sh?n(t)s\

“Patience is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without acting on annoyance/anger in a negative way; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. Patience is the level of endurance one’s character can take before negativity. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast. Antonyms include hastiness and impetuousness.”

I have always been told over and over that I have incredible patience and resilience. I never really knew why I had this other then little problems don’t seem to bother me, waiting only irritates me if it’s because someone else is being lazy or problematic, and risks hardly ever harbor fear. I chalked it up to growing up in California where we learn to do our best and let the chips fall as they may. But as I have met more people from all over the world it has become more evident as to why some people have patience and some don’t.

One of my favorite quotes is “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.” It’s funny how a quote can encompass so much and be written off as tongue and cheek. The truth is picking your battles can go a long way with life. Knowing what to worry about and what to just let go is a valuable skill. After all stress is the negative effect of worrying too much and stress literally can degrade every aspect of your health.

I think by having a tough childhood it’s allowed me to appreciate certain basic things in life more then a kid who has a simple childhood. I also think it’s given me strength to handle difficult things better. In some cases I can even take more risks knowing if everything crashes down I can confidently build it back up, I have had to do this many times growing up. They say you can give a million dollars to a poor man and he will go broke in 5 years yet if you take everything away from a  rich man he will be rich again in the same time. I think this is what defines resilance, the ability to get back on the horse as a stronger wiser person. In fact getting knocked down can even be a great thing, kind of like when a bone breaks it rebuilds even stronger. I had a lot of difficult times and a lot of broken bones as a child. But patience is not that simple, I have met people with much more complicated lives then mine that have no patience and little resilience.

So what forms patience and resilience? And why does so little people have it?

First I was looking for the common denominators among the people that have patience and the people that do not. Most obvious was the people that have it tend to of accomplished more unique things on their own. Like moving to a foreign country, being a single parent, or starting their own business. This seems to have embedded some safety net synapses in their sub conscious that allows them to take more risks. They know after beating the odds and finding their own path in life that they have a great ability and that gives them the strength to succumb any failures they might endure.

As much as having a difficult childhood might help, without a significant difficult and unique achievement, deep patience most likely will not be achieved.

“Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow – that is patience.”

Patience is definably a strength, a mental strength we all should strive for. Not to be confused with bundling or hiding things inside or just being lazy. True patience is the confidence and faith in yourself to survive the most difficult things good or bad and to simply not let the little things bother you too much. If your trying to be more patient I suggest your first step to be something you wanted to do but never thought you actually could. There will be risk or even failure but the lesson might just make you a better person for the rest of your life and if your really lucky it could just be exactly what you wanted.

Namaste
-Charley

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